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BEST MAN ADVICE

All you will every need to know about how where and whom to invite....

|| THE PARTY ||

So your best bud is about to tie the knot, and you have been nominated as his best man which now means you are in charge of giving him a kick-ass bachelor party!!!!! One final HOO-HAA that the groom will never forget no matter how much he tries...

If you and your mates are the type that can't be bothered with the hassle involved in getting hold of every one, from mates to strippers to venue's to clubs etc.. then a small gathering with loads of beer while parking off around teh barbeque might be in order.

But why Larry. WHY?? The boyz wanna PARTY!!

The Lads from bachelorparty.com have taken all the hassle out of everything! So whether you just want to cruise from club to club or chill out on one of our suppliers yachts complimented beautiful strippers and and waitresses hanging on your beckoned call, we recommend that you take some time and give some serious thought to your plan!

Without wich you risk wasting loads of cash as well as pissing off all your mates, and potentially putting the groom in such hot water with his wife to be that it will all be over before it begins.

Stress not my young lad!! Its not like the fate of the entire marriage is in your hands...? All that and they still expect you to remember the RING!!!!! anyway, we have created a guide that outlines everything you need to know from A- Z on bachelor parties as well as all you need to know about the wedding during the build up to, as well as on the day itself from responsibilities & appearances through to your toasts, jokes and speeches!

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:: STEP 1 :: Who Cracks the invite nod...?

Keep it in the circle! As per the the old fashioned frat parties where the rule of thumb was "The bigger the better " HiCk uP..! the last thing you want is for everyone and their mothers to pitch up. While there isn't a set number of people you should invite, make sure that all the guests are trusted friends "i.e." Lads who won't break the pact of what goes on tour stays on tour!

This doesn't mean that friends and relatives of the bride should be excluded as there is a traditional "code of silence" among all men in regards to these things, so if the soon to be brother in law is a good bloke and you don't want him to feel like a tool, then let him come along. However there are certain pitfalls which must be duly noted:

  • Make it clear that the party is invite only!
  • As for the one tool in the group that we all know we have.. That clingon mate who never gets the message and who you all know you can't trust... Who cares don't invite him he's a tool anyway and its about time he got the message!
  • Don't invite any of the groom's work mates unless you're prepared to invite all of them. If rumors get out that someone wasn't invited to the bachelor party, your mate could be neck deep in office politics on Monday

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:: STEP 2 :: Where and When...

Consider the the Grooms situation as, the last thing you want to do is surprise your mate with a roomful of strippers and beer on the night the paster is scheduled to visit to finialise your wedding vows.....???

Keep the groom in mind...
As best man, there is no doubt that you know your mate best, consider what he'd like to do. While most lads are familiar with the clubbing booze cruise with stripper and the whole hooch, we have found that people are now leaning toward more creative activities and ultimate adrenaline rushes!

Ages ago, bachelor parties were formal, all-male, black-tie Oxford style dinners in which all guests behaved like gentlemen and drank a toast to the groom-to-be. Sounds great..... NOT!!. Thank the good lord, times have changed and modern bachelor parties tend to cater to the specific interests of the groom in a much more informal setting. Other than that, the only limit is your creativity.

Tell us when!

During the 70's & 80's bachelor parties where tradtionally held on the same weekend or even the night before the wedding... Can you imagine! We strongly recommend hosting such a party about a week before the wedding day as we all agree getting rat faced two nights in a row is just to hard for marrying men to handle! What would be the point of going so large the night before that you all Zombie out at the ceremony and put the groom in a situation that he nods off during his wife's toast...? oh boy.. Then you as best man will be in serious POO! Do it a week prior, you will all be grateful... Trust us!

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:: STEP 3 :: Make it happen...

So you've decided on the package, destination and stripper, it's time to make the arrangements.

The budget speech...
Figure out how much you and the lads are willing to pay? Genius, isn't it? It goes without saying that all the lads split the costs and the groom gets off "Scott Free..." Well almost he will pay in kind as his liver goes into over drive. Costs will vary greatly pending the activities planned and the amount of people, when transportation, drinks, reservation fees, Cover charges and entertainment are put together, each person could typically be out R200-R500.

To make sure that everyone's clear on this, when you call people to invite them or send out the invites, give them a rough idea of how much they'll be expected to cough up.

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:: STEP 4 :: Book the babes..

Yeah baby yeah! What a Vibe! Round up a bunch of chicks and have them get in the nod to loads thumping tunes!!

Yeah....! be careful!!! Many of these "agencies" companies are not as reputable as you think!.

So if you do not intend to book everything through bachelorparty.com we urge you to follow these important tips:

  • We have heard stories where agencies may send entertainers to your party that aren't exactly of the "standard" you expected when you booked them. You have to hate it when they leave a lingering fishy smell as they walk in the door or even worse are hairier than you are or have no front teeth. Should this happen, you have no option but to have a sharpie at the bar, squint your eyes, and thank the good lord that she will be hanging on the groom for the next 20 min and pray she doesn't wiggle her little fanny over to your side of the room.
  • Find out if photographing or videotaping is allowed. Usually, it's a No No and you don't want an angry stripper and her 2 ton Nigerian body guard sitting on your head whilst unraveling the film in your camera...
  • Get any deals you make in writing. Most reputable companies will fax or E-mail you a copy of any contract agreed upon. Also, ask for a written description of the "show" for any entertainment you book.

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:: STEP 5 :: Let the good times roll...

After meticulous planning and decisive management decisions, following a few sleepless nights due to nightmares riddled with images of hairy strippers and grossly enlarged versions of your mates bride snapping at you heels with Doberman styled teeth, your exhausted, right? All that and the party hasn't even begun....! Relax lad, your main duty is complete all you have to do now is show up, have a few sharpies and try not loose the groom.. More easily said than done, they have a habit of wondering off in their drunker than skunk states!

So what bachelor party would be complete without the ol'-ball-and-chain for him to drag around all night by his ankle. You can easily construct one from a bowling ball and a bit of old chain. Another mainstay, of course, is the blowup doll. Make it a rule for the night that he carries it wherever he goes.

So whatever you decide to do on the evening is entirely up to you, you'll probably want to stick to"guy stuff." and mandatory activities such as drinking heavily! Even if the groom's not a big drinker, do a shot or two with your best pals and tell siff jokes.

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:: STEP 6 :: Keep it tidy....

Yeah, Booze, Belching, naked woman and a seriously good time! Don't forget the aim of the party is to show the groom and your mates a good time, as dull as it sounds you still have to act responsibly the last thing you want is to send the groom down the isle with a black eye and a few broken ribs.

One of your main responsibilities you have is to make sure everyone doesn't wind up in a tangle with the touring football team and there fan following, and MOST IMPORTANTLY to make sure everyone has a safe ride home.

Also, remember that when a loads of the lads are out on the piss, things can easliy slip out of control. While we don't expect you to be a mommy for the night, keep an eye on the groom and to enlist the lads to look out for each other and to avoid tangles when ever possible, they must not to be inconsiderate as its a party not a barney!

In Closing, don't forget the groom is getting married and it not a collge raod trip. Ya ya, it's his last night of freedom, but don't get the poor lad shit faced drunk and dare him into nobbing the barlady to prove he still has the touch... Its your job see to it that he actually gets to the chapel on time and more Importantly in one piece, unbruised and unscathed and especially with no regrets from his party!

Once you've followed these steps, carefully planned the party in conjunction with www.bachelorparty.com and respected the groom's wishes, there's only one thing left to do.........!

Hit the bar for a few swift sharpies! See you at the jol lads.
Regards - Kevin & The Bachelor party team.

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|| THE WEDDING DAY ||

:: STEP 1 :: Build up to the Day

Basically its your responsibility to round up the lads for the bachelor party and show the groom a good time!

Following which, in the days building up to the event you are the one responsible for re-assuring him that he is making the right decision as this is one of, if not the biggest and most long term decisions he will make in his life. Make him feel good about it! (Make sure he has the ring in a safe place!)

:: STEP 2 :: The Morning of the event

Its your responsibility to get the groom to the church on time... Meet your man at his house or hotel, make sure he is suited up, looking pretty and smelling good! (Before you leave - Make sure you have ring!) You might want to throw in a few light hearted jokes to put him at ease and if you can pick up he is nervous as heck then a quick trip to the bar on your way through to the venue for a cold beer or a stiff sharp one might be in order to loosen up those joints! (Before you leave - Make sure you have ring!)

:: STEP 3 :: The Chapel

You and the groom will be welcoming the guests at the chapel as they arrive so keep him close, smile allot and - Make sure you have ring! During the ceremony your only responsibility is to stand next the groom and make sure you look cool and - Make sure you have ring! When called upon to do so you may hand over the ring!

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:: STEP 4 :: The Reception

The MC will invite everyone into the reception room and depending on the formality of the function and the bridal couples preferred order, the guests will be seated to welcome the bridal couple into the hall following which the MC will conduct the initial welcome. Starters will be served and speeches will follow between the starter and main dishes. the General order of affairs is for the MC to welcome everyone crack a joke or two and the hand over to you for your speech and toast, you will then hand back to him for him to invite the father of the Bride to say a few words then on to the groom himself and the bride if necessary. The Main coarse will then be served followed by the 1st dance, deserts and the party! The garter and Bouquet will follow during the evening and the MC will conduct these rituals accordingly.

:: STEP 5 :: Your Speech

Depending on your persona and confidence you may crack a joke or two to break the ice and then move on to say a few words about the groom and what a Pukka guy he really is! Avoid delving into his dark past, stick to his values and his finer qualities, you can lightly touch on the bride and how beautiful she looks however avoid toasting her directly as this is the grooms responsibility. It is however you responsibility to formally toast the brides maids so raise you glass to them and toast away. In closing you may also toast the bridal couple them selves.

:: STEP 6 :: Toasting tips

These tips have been formulated to you as the best man ready for the day at hand. Decide in advance when you will begin the toasting and make sure the wedding party knows the plan. Its your job to toast the Brides maids and in closing to toast the bridal couple.

  • Be Prepared - Prepare any speech ahead of time long or short, no matter how formal or casual you wish to make you toast and speech, impromptu speeches often lack meaning which shows disrespect to the bridal couple.
  • Stick to basics - Don't put on a dramatic speech if you are not generally that way inclined. Be yourself, speak using your normal tone and vocabulary, and don't ramble on. If you are a bit nervous don't hold your glass while speaking to avoid the shakes, instead put down next to you and raise it for the toast!
  • Address everyone - Don't bring up inside jokes unless everyone will understand if it's negative or inappropriate, don't go there! It is not a 21st so Joking about drunken escapades or a former girlfriends just isn't funny and shows bad taste on your behalf.
  • Keep their Attention - If the audience can't hear you, you will lose their attention. Speak in a strong voice or use a microphone.
  • Finishing - When you are finished, let the audience know it's time to stand and toast the bridal couple. Something like "Please join me in congratulating the happy couple, Mark & Mindi"
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